Our Deepest Fear- By Marianne Williamson

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

God works in mysterious ways. He's proved it to me over and over again. And then, this morning, as I opened my scriptures, I thought of this quote. It was exactly what I needed to hear right now.

Beginning this business is stretching me. It's purging me of my insecurity. It's making me face myself as I've never done before. I am not afraid that I will fail in this business. I KNOW that I have what it takes to make fabulous art, to friendship and network with other people and businesses, to drive myself to improve. I think what I fear the most is that this whole plan will actually WORK! What then?

I think I've spent so many years hiding from myself. Fearing that if I'm my best self, that others will feel uncomfortable around me, and so I sink a little...give them the upper edge, make myself appear lowly. I thought for the longest time that this was modesty and humility. I thought that I was following in Christ's footsteps. But, now I believe I was DEAD WRONG. That is not humility. That is humiliating! And if we kick ourselves down a notch too often, pretty soon, we begin to actually believe it! We begin to actually think that everyone else is better than we are.

Jesus Christ knew who he was. He was NOT afraid to let his light shine. He wanted people to rise to his level. He showed them what they COULD become. We are his children. He's asked us to "Come follow me". Shouldn't I do the same? Shouldn't I let my light shine instead of hiding it under a bushel? Wouldn't people be more confident to be themselves if they knew the genuine me? I think so.

I am not perfect, nor will I ever be in this life. The piles of dirty laundry in my hallway and clean laundry piled on my bed can attest to that. But I have a lot to offer the world. I love my family. I love people. I serve my heart out every stinking day. I love Jesus Christ and I'm doing my very best to do his will for me. I have so many gifts it's ridiculous. I don't know what I ever did to deserve them all. This business is helping me see that I was given those gifts to USE them, not hide them. And if using them means that I put myself "out there" a little more, that the beauty that is inherent in my person comes to light along with my warts...so be it.

So, watch out world! I'm going to try and stand up tall on these two feet of mine. And, maybe, just maybe I'll get around to doing the laundry too?

Goodbye Favorite Shoes

I've already received some "concern mail" from some of you who love the "red shoe" picture that used to head this blog. Be assured, the red shoes are alive and well. They are still my favorite shoes. I still wear them frequently. They actually kinda stink from all of the wear-age. I really should probably put some powder in them or something. OK...TMI. But, in the interest of preserving their memory forever, I will post the picture here. Look at it to your heart's content.

Shelby

This is Shelby. We had a very fun photo shoot yesterday where she pretty much let me try any and everything that came to mind. She was so fun to photograph, as almost all teenagers are. A little shy, alot spunky...it all came out on film. I considered it my greatest triumph to get her to full out laugh! What a beautiful girl! Truly, truly a pleasure.

On Shelby's photos, I used a series of vintage washes. I really am in love with vintage right now. The locations we chose today just lent themselves well to the washes I've been dying to use. I think they look fabulous...old and wistful.

Late at Night

Above is the original. It's a great picture. I liked it to begin with. But, I think I like it better as a vintage picture. This location just screams for vintage, doesn't it?

I think this faded black and white might very well be my favorite. I love black and white to begin with...and add my new vintage craze on top of that, and this one's a winner!

Alright, I can barely keep my eyes open, and here I still sit, addicted to learning everything I can get my hands on about photoshop. I finally figured out layering masks (which is no small miracle in and of itself) and it has opened up a whole new world of possibilities for me. Possibilities that are begging me to try them out RIGHT NOW.

My latest craze is making "vintage" photos. Tonight I've practiced for a few hours, used a few actions from Pioneer Woman (another in a long line of photographic heroes of mine). One of my favorite photos from James' senior session has undergone a makeover...several times over. If I had a little less self control, I'd stay up another hour and play with another photo...just to see what happens. But, a hot bath and a tall glass of ice water are calling my name. Ha! And you actually thought I was going to bed!

Love Affair Workshop

So, I did it. I bit the bullet and clicked the "register" button for the love affair workshop in Atlanta, Georgia. Of course I talked to Kevin first, and of course we both kind of hyperventilated when I told him the price. But, we're committed to making this new little business of ours viable, and we both figure it's better to learn from other people's trial and error mistakes than make them all ourselves. Like I've heard several times before, "Why reinvent the wheel"?

So, in July, I'll head to hot and humid Atlanta where I will learn from 4 wonderful and SUCCESSFUL photographers who will hopefully help me reach my photography goals. I have a vision for this little baby of a business, and I can use all the help I can get lifting it off the ground. Plus, all of you know how over-obsessed I am about making my pictures look as good as possible. They are going to help me in 2 ways with that. First, they are going to help me make my pictures look more amazing. And second, they are going to help teach me ways to keep my obsession from taking over my life and my time with my hot husband and cute kiddo.

And last, I get to eat Chick-fil-A. I almost would have bought the plane ticket and paid the workshop fee for that alone. So, first opportunity I get, I'll be trekking to the nearest Chick-fil-A for some good, ol' fashioned fried chicken goodness...I can almost hear the hallelujah chorus already! (It's been over a year since I've laid into one of their sandwiches!)

Anyway, I am SO EXCITED about this trip on so many levels. First, I get to visit the US of A again (because I'm a little homesick for the familiar), second, there's chick-fil-a, third, it's a trip ALL TO MYSELF to relax from the 4 months of being super mom while Kevin's been deployed, and fourth, it will be so nice to have a successful professional answer all of my questions that have been clanging around in my head for the past 2 years. I've been writing them all down so that I don't miss a single one. And, last...I get to do nothing but photography for an entire solid week without an ounce of guilt and hopefully I'll come home feeling like I can conquer the world...and help get myself geared up to meet all of those goals I've made for this year!

So, check out their website and blog...it's awesome. Just reading it pumps me up! And about the name, it's a workshop for women who have a "love affair" with life, their families, photography, and so many other things. The workshop is about sorting out all of our different loves so that we can live life and build our business to the fullest.
http://www.loveaffairphoto.com/

James

Oh how I love photographing seniors! Hanging out with teens for a couple of hours is so much fun. It was a joy to photograph a GUY again. They are so easy going, less self conscious, and he was willing to climb on pretty much anything I asked him to climb on...except the dirty seat in the jeep. Heck...I don't know that I would have crawled in there. What a great shoot! I'll be editing into the wee hours of the night because there are SO MANY GOOD PICTURES. These are some of my favorites.

Baby Jack

Meet Jack. He is a wiggly, wriggly cutie pie that I had the privilege of photographing today. I love his little wrinkle on the bridge of his nose. I could have photographed that all day long! But, he was pretty ready for us to be done taking his pictures by the end of it all.